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Stephan for PH3's Men's Mental Health Awareness Campaign
Meet Stephan Bowman, an army veteran, author and founder of Bowman StoryWorks. Bowman StoryWorks focuses on creating stories that connect with children and families. Their books aim to entertain, educate and open hearts while encouraging young readers to see the world with curiosity, kindness and understanding.
Through our interview together, our hope is that you’re able to catch some wisdom from what was shared. This is Stephan’s story for Project H.O.P.3. Men’s mental health awareness campaign.
Who do you feel like had the greatest influence on you growing up?
When I was a child, I remember my mom used to work at Joanne’s. One day there was a bad storm in Sacramento, pouring rain, power outages all over the city, and big gusts of winds. My mom still got up that day and walked over a mile to get to work. I thought to myself how I didn’t even want to step outside, and wouldn’t be caught in the wet and cold weather. That’s my why, she’s the reason I feel like I can't give up on things and why I have to keep going no matter the circumstances.
What inspired you to write your first book?
I usually keep everything close to my chest until I’m ready to release. It was a combination of having a child and challenging myself to do something new that I previously never saw myself doing. Next, I started doing research and figuring out how to do it the right way.
How much do you feel that your life has changed for the better because of your son?
He’s given me a greater sense of responsibility. I’ve always been inspired by artists like Tupac and Nipsey, and now that I have a son he motivates me to do things to inspire him. So, I believe I have to do so many things in my own life that he can admire one day. For example, I recently went back to school. I want to be able to encourage him to try so many different things in life, and don’t want to be met with the resistance of, “Dad, you never even tried that.” Also, the things that I used to do before he was present were reckless, so it’s taught me to be more responsible, tighten up and make better choices.
What challenges or experiences have shaped you the most?
Well, I graduated from Laguna Creek, then I went to CRC for two semesters and got recruited to the army. The army was the first time that I ever had been on a plane, first time away from home, and in the beginning was a nerve racking experience. I used to be playful and selfish, so I would get in trouble a lot. Usually, when this happens the sergeants smoke you out, which means they single you out and make you do extra pushups or other physical activities as punishment. They quickly realized that that didn’t affect me, so one day my sergeant came up to me and said, “I know how to get you.” The next time I got in trouble he smoked the whole platoon, while I had to sit there and watch. It made me realize that my actions affect the people around me, even if I don’t think that they do. The army added discipline which helped me hone in on who I am.
Has coparenting been your biggest obstacle emotionally? If not, what is?
Coparenting is the most emotionally challenging thing I’ve ever had to deal with. Coparenting for me right now is a lot of turbulence, and I haven’t gotten to the point where it’s smooth sailing just yet. However, I’m learning, getting better at it and becoming more emotionally intelligent everyday.
Outside of coparenting, death has been one of my biggest obstacles as well. When I first got to the army, they asked us to raise our hands if we’ve ever seen anybody die and I remember I was one of the only people who raised my hand. In some ways, I think death has shaped some of who I am.
How do you think grief has shaped you?
Grief has shaped me both positively and negatively, but probably a lot more negatively than I let on. When people say they don’t give a fuck, I really don’t think they mean it, but I do. Even if I know what I’m doing is wrong. I think because I am missing people, then I feel as if I’m stuck here with a lot of people that don’t have the same amount of love to give to me as the person who passed away did.
However, I am growing into a new version of myself because I understand it’s also a crutch. I know that I truly do give a fuck, but I present otherwise on the exterior. But I like tight stuff, I like to see people do cool things, I like to meet cool people and ultimately see people live because we’re alive. I can’t just sit here, be mad and morbid all day.
While I am growing, sometimes in the middle of a conversation I can start thinking about people I miss and zone out. I haven’t gotten over that and I don’t know if I’ll ever get over it.
What is helping you on your healing journey?
Honestly, God has made me be truly self-aware. I sit and spend a lot of time with myself. I assess and determine how I can continue to grow. Also, I don’t like to be too high or too low. I like to be level-headed. Due to my emotions being imbalanced, I decided to take myself to therapy. I know the thoughts in my head, so I would be thinking to myself if I get mad enough, then I could do this. I knew I didn’t want to make a mistake I couldn’t come back from. When I went to therapy for the first time, the therapist informed me that I was practicing forms of self therapy. More recently, I am getting back to being vulnerable with others and finding more creative outlets. For example, arts, poetry, writing books and sharing them.
When do you feel most seen? Are you able to show this side of yourself that’s healing to those that you’re around most?
I don’t. I struggle with that because people naturally want to remember the things that I used to do when I was young, and can’t see past them. A lot of people see me, then remind me about things that I used to when I was 18. I don’t feel like this healed side of me will be seen until I fully do the work, and I’m ready to show it to the world. People are starting to see the transition, but I know that I have to put years into the new version of myself until people begin to truly accept who I am.
If you could speak to your younger self, what would you tell him?
You gone be aight. There’s power in vulnerability. I would warn him about his relationships with women. I would tell him that you’re going to feel like you can do whatever you want to do, but don’t. Show some restraint and hold your value as a man. I would give him money advice too. Save your money. Don’t waste it on superficial things or possessions.
How do you want to be remembered?
I believe the greatest thing that we can do is to inspire which is why I have it tatted on my neck. If I can spark inspiration and motivation in somebody that’d be enough. I would like to be remembered as somebody who was a trailblazer, doing my thing authentically, but sparked trends and ideas in others. Most of all I want to make sure that my son is inspired by me. I want to be remembered as a good person, loving family member, somebody who played too much, and that was not perfect, but was an inspiration while I was here.
Stephan x Project H.O.P.3. 💛
Through our interview together, our hope is that you’re able to catch some wisdom from what was shared. This is Stephan’s story for Project H.O.P.3. Men’s mental health awareness campaign.
Who do you feel like had the greatest influence on you growing up?
When I was a child, I remember my mom used to work at Joanne’s. One day there was a bad storm in Sacramento, pouring rain, power outages all over the city, and big gusts of winds. My mom still got up that day and walked over a mile to get to work. I thought to myself how I didn’t even want to step outside, and wouldn’t be caught in the wet and cold weather. That’s my why, she’s the reason I feel like I can't give up on things and why I have to keep going no matter the circumstances.
What inspired you to write your first book?
I usually keep everything close to my chest until I’m ready to release. It was a combination of having a child and challenging myself to do something new that I previously never saw myself doing. Next, I started doing research and figuring out how to do it the right way.
How much do you feel that your life has changed for the better because of your son?
He’s given me a greater sense of responsibility. I’ve always been inspired by artists like Tupac and Nipsey, and now that I have a son he motivates me to do things to inspire him. So, I believe I have to do so many things in my own life that he can admire one day. For example, I recently went back to school. I want to be able to encourage him to try so many different things in life, and don’t want to be met with the resistance of, “Dad, you never even tried that.” Also, the things that I used to do before he was present were reckless, so it’s taught me to be more responsible, tighten up and make better choices.
What challenges or experiences have shaped you the most?
Well, I graduated from Laguna Creek, then I went to CRC for two semesters and got recruited to the army. The army was the first time that I ever had been on a plane, first time away from home, and in the beginning was a nerve racking experience. I used to be playful and selfish, so I would get in trouble a lot. Usually, when this happens the sergeants smoke you out, which means they single you out and make you do extra pushups or other physical activities as punishment. They quickly realized that that didn’t affect me, so one day my sergeant came up to me and said, “I know how to get you.” The next time I got in trouble he smoked the whole platoon, while I had to sit there and watch. It made me realize that my actions affect the people around me, even if I don’t think that they do. The army added discipline which helped me hone in on who I am.
Has coparenting been your biggest obstacle emotionally? If not, what is?
Coparenting is the most emotionally challenging thing I’ve ever had to deal with. Coparenting for me right now is a lot of turbulence, and I haven’t gotten to the point where it’s smooth sailing just yet. However, I’m learning, getting better at it and becoming more emotionally intelligent everyday.
Outside of coparenting, death has been one of my biggest obstacles as well. When I first got to the army, they asked us to raise our hands if we’ve ever seen anybody die and I remember I was one of the only people who raised my hand. In some ways, I think death has shaped some of who I am.
How do you think grief has shaped you?
Grief has shaped me both positively and negatively, but probably a lot more negatively than I let on. When people say they don’t give a fuck, I really don’t think they mean it, but I do. Even if I know what I’m doing is wrong. I think because I am missing people, then I feel as if I’m stuck here with a lot of people that don’t have the same amount of love to give to me as the person who passed away did.
However, I am growing into a new version of myself because I understand it’s also a crutch. I know that I truly do give a fuck, but I present otherwise on the exterior. But I like tight stuff, I like to see people do cool things, I like to meet cool people and ultimately see people live because we’re alive. I can’t just sit here, be mad and morbid all day.
While I am growing, sometimes in the middle of a conversation I can start thinking about people I miss and zone out. I haven’t gotten over that and I don’t know if I’ll ever get over it.
What is helping you on your healing journey?
Honestly, God has made me be truly self-aware. I sit and spend a lot of time with myself. I assess and determine how I can continue to grow. Also, I don’t like to be too high or too low. I like to be level-headed. Due to my emotions being imbalanced, I decided to take myself to therapy. I know the thoughts in my head, so I would be thinking to myself if I get mad enough, then I could do this. I knew I didn’t want to make a mistake I couldn’t come back from. When I went to therapy for the first time, the therapist informed me that I was practicing forms of self therapy. More recently, I am getting back to being vulnerable with others and finding more creative outlets. For example, arts, poetry, writing books and sharing them.
When do you feel most seen? Are you able to show this side of yourself that’s healing to those that you’re around most?
I don’t. I struggle with that because people naturally want to remember the things that I used to do when I was young, and can’t see past them. A lot of people see me, then remind me about things that I used to when I was 18. I don’t feel like this healed side of me will be seen until I fully do the work, and I’m ready to show it to the world. People are starting to see the transition, but I know that I have to put years into the new version of myself until people begin to truly accept who I am.
If you could speak to your younger self, what would you tell him?
You gone be aight. There’s power in vulnerability. I would warn him about his relationships with women. I would tell him that you’re going to feel like you can do whatever you want to do, but don’t. Show some restraint and hold your value as a man. I would give him money advice too. Save your money. Don’t waste it on superficial things or possessions.
How do you want to be remembered?
I believe the greatest thing that we can do is to inspire which is why I have it tatted on my neck. If I can spark inspiration and motivation in somebody that’d be enough. I would like to be remembered as somebody who was a trailblazer, doing my thing authentically, but sparked trends and ideas in others. Most of all I want to make sure that my son is inspired by me. I want to be remembered as a good person, loving family member, somebody who played too much, and that was not perfect, but was an inspiration while I was here.
Stephan x Project H.O.P.3. 💛
Jordan for PH3's Men's Mental Health Awareness Campaign
Meet Jordan, a loving son, father, husband, community leader, revolutionary and artist. Week to week, Jordan runs the CMB Neighbor Program and a full-time K-8 community homeschool, the Malcolm X Academy.
Through our interview together, our hope is that you’re able to catch some wisdom from what was shared. This is Jordan’s story for Project H.O.P.3. Men’s mental health awareness campaign.
What emotions were hardest for you to acknowledge through adolescence?
I was raised by my father and experienced insecurities because of growing up without a mom, not feeling worth enough, loved enough or worthy of love. Because of this, it manifested itself through anger, lust and seeking approval. I didn’t have the ability or language to say this is what I need.
What is the time period of your life that made you more mindful of your mental health?
It is a constant practice, but at 31 I had a heartache. Afterwards, I didn’t do a good job of allowing people to be there for me. I tried to maintain this poise that “I’m good,” and in reality I was holding so much in that my body was getting ready to have another heart attack.
What or who has been your strongest support system and form of accountability?
My wife. My wife told me that she did not sign up to watch me hold all of these things that are ultimately killing me. That was a big chapter in my life because I had to commit to being healthy, I had to commit to better choices for myself. I don’t want to be fucked up, I don’t want to process things the same way I did as survival mode teenage Jordan. I want to be okay. I want to make decisions that truly reflect how I feel and what I want in comparison to the trauma response of surviving whatever scared the hell out of me as a kid.
What would you tell men that are struggling silently?
Don’t. Don’t struggle in silence. Call somebody, find a counselor, just don’t do that shit. It’s only hurting you, your vision, what God has for you and the people who love you. You are not being as tough as you think you are. The toughest thing is to be able to be yourself at all times and not care what others think. As men, sometimes we forget that we’re a human being, who is a man. Not the other way around. You might need something, maybe a hug, or 5 minutes of someone’s time to talk, but if you can’t say that because you never learn how, then what?
If we had the answers, we wouldn’t be struggling silently.
Jordan x Project H.O.P.3. 💛
Through our interview together, our hope is that you’re able to catch some wisdom from what was shared. This is Jordan’s story for Project H.O.P.3. Men’s mental health awareness campaign.
What emotions were hardest for you to acknowledge through adolescence?
I was raised by my father and experienced insecurities because of growing up without a mom, not feeling worth enough, loved enough or worthy of love. Because of this, it manifested itself through anger, lust and seeking approval. I didn’t have the ability or language to say this is what I need.
What is the time period of your life that made you more mindful of your mental health?
It is a constant practice, but at 31 I had a heartache. Afterwards, I didn’t do a good job of allowing people to be there for me. I tried to maintain this poise that “I’m good,” and in reality I was holding so much in that my body was getting ready to have another heart attack.
What or who has been your strongest support system and form of accountability?
My wife. My wife told me that she did not sign up to watch me hold all of these things that are ultimately killing me. That was a big chapter in my life because I had to commit to being healthy, I had to commit to better choices for myself. I don’t want to be fucked up, I don’t want to process things the same way I did as survival mode teenage Jordan. I want to be okay. I want to make decisions that truly reflect how I feel and what I want in comparison to the trauma response of surviving whatever scared the hell out of me as a kid.
What would you tell men that are struggling silently?
Don’t. Don’t struggle in silence. Call somebody, find a counselor, just don’t do that shit. It’s only hurting you, your vision, what God has for you and the people who love you. You are not being as tough as you think you are. The toughest thing is to be able to be yourself at all times and not care what others think. As men, sometimes we forget that we’re a human being, who is a man. Not the other way around. You might need something, maybe a hug, or 5 minutes of someone’s time to talk, but if you can’t say that because you never learn how, then what?
If we had the answers, we wouldn’t be struggling silently.
Jordan x Project H.O.P.3. 💛
Joseph's Story for PH3
Joseph grew up in Sacramento’s Arden/Arcade area and attended Rio Americano High School. In his senior year, he placed first in a ceramics competition at the California State Fair. After graduating, he worked as a plumber for years, describing life as constantly moving and always on the clock. Joseph’s story cannot be told without honoring his longtime partner. They have known each other since they were fourteen, and she has been a constant source of support in his life. One of the most profound things she shared is that healing yourself is also a way of protecting the people you love. Out of respect for her wishes, she was not photographed, but her presence is deeply embedded in this story.
Harvey's Story for PH3
Harvey grew up with both parents and graduated high school in the 1970s from Wasco Union High School. He spent much of his life working with his hands through construction and different trades. When asked about himself, he made it clear he knows exactly who he is. “Do you understand who you’re talking to now? Harvey. The real Harvey.” He carries a strong sense of identity and presence, grounded in experience and self-awareness.
Nikki's Story for PH3
Nikki grew up in Vallejo before moving to Stockton as a child. She spent much of her life navigating instability, abuse, and loss, including the loss of her daughter. She left an unsafe home and later came to Sacramento to escape violence, choosing survival over familiarity. In recent years, she has faced serious health challenges, including a life-threatening medical emergency and a difficult recovery. When asked about misconceptions of the unhoused community, Nikki was clear: “Not all of us are out here because of drugs. I left because I needed to survive.”
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